To Do List For 11/03/2004

TO DO LIST, WED 11/03/04:

1. Buy "Evading the Draft for Dummies"

2. Tell all my girl friends to stock up birth control because who knows how much longer it will be legal

3. Capitalize on increased desire to work at a liberal non-profit

4. Pray for my gay friends

5. Write a novel on how the American cultural divide hinges heavily on religion

6. Cancel my travel plans to travel abroad

7. Start looking for new jobs before I get laid off

8. Beef up my 401K plan now knowing that Social Security and Medicare will be bankrupt by the time I retire

9. Stop saving up for an IPOD and instead purchase an AKA 47 before they become the next fad

10. Read up on my US history so I can be prepared for the next civil war

11. Send Vitamin C pills to all of the Supreme Court Justices so that no one gets sick or dies in the next 4 years

12. Sell my car before the price of gas hits $3/gallon

13. Resurrect my Ant Farm set, buy a potted plant and use less cologne in my attempt to save the environment

14. Buy a map of Afghanistan and hunt down that Fucker Bin Laden, because no one else seems to be doing it

15. Permanently install Safe Rooms in my apartment, my car, my cubicle at work, and my gym

16. Cancel Thanksgiving dinner with my relatives in Ohio

17. Move to Canada

18. Cry